We could all use more Joy it seems. I mean suicide is at a high, burn out as well, loneliness, cancer, illness, anxiety, chronic pain, depression… What is going on? Well, I could go there and make a long list addressing the why. But, I want to zero in on one essential human need. Connection. Even this I could list out all the reasons we have loss real connection. How can we connect when we are not present. We think we’re connecting but, the way we are trying to connect these days are just an illusion. Just a dopamine hit is all. And we definitely want more and more of that. Our minds are going a mile a minute, our body & mind exhausted – that has taxed our nervous system. How does mindfulness relate with connection. Well, when we are mindful, being present connection is taking place. We are able to connect with ourselves, other people, nature, everything. Then Joy follows as we are living mindfully, really being with, taking it all in we are connecting. Life starts to slow down when this is happening.
We live in a culture where it’s an award to be the busiest person alive or at least in our circle. Going so fast, multi tasking. Until we drop – literally can’t keep up anymore. This way of life is not sustainable. I know we’re feeling it.
Minimalism and the tiny house movement, off grid living and Nomadic lifestyle continue to rise. I think it’s not that there’s zero work involved in those life styles. Heck, there’s actually a lot of sacrificing, giving up if you will. Though to many it may seem like a sacrifice, a giving up. But, I see it as a trading in, trading it for peace, nervous system regulation, being closer to nature, more time for quiet time and time with loved ones, all this improves how we feel, our health, our clarity, to have contentment, peace, love, joy., calm. To improve our quality of sleep, keep stress levels down so our body feels more healthy and strong. It’s also preventative medicine. I can hear people now saying “yeah, but, I thrive in the city, I love the energy, I love living there, I couldn’t just live rural and do nothing”. And I think that’s very valid too. I think knowing yourself is so so important and honoring that. That alone brings joy in one’s life. I think one can slow down and have true connection in a city. I mean I’ve always lived in smaller towns and people’s bodies are still so stressed that I work with or am around. You can live fast, disconnected from everyone and everything, and not be in your body. Not know how to regulate your nervous system or how to have real connection. Even as a monk. Even monks train. I also, know life is so so expensive and having kids just adds to the overwhelming feeling of it all. I’m not saying have a life of doing nothing. But, I do think it’s how we do it. Just like in life we cannot control bad things from happening in our life, that is life really. And we cannot forever eliminate all stress, but it’s how we navigate with it all, is the training, a practice.. I personally and work with countless people who too have always had the mind set work hard – play hard. Keep pushing. I’ll stop, slow down when I get there or when I’m dead??
Yet “there,” rarely comes, because then it’s another thing. So then once again it’s when I achieve this, when I get there, then I will.
Yes, finding balance in one’s life is definitely a practice, a dance.
Do you find staying busy keeps you distracted from dealing with life stuff, does it help you to avoid intimacy, connection or unhealed trauma? The very thing we need as humans, is connection. One of our human needs, you’re running away from?
It can be very helpful to have a daily designated mindful practice. But, taking the training and implementing into your life is very effective in order for the change to happen, for connection to be present in your life. It’s a process and one that continues to expand overtime as you practice.
Mindful living has always been important to me and I know what a powerful impact it is in our lives and within our bodies for overall wellbeing. I know this personally and having worked along side so many people over the last 27 years.
A simple example to practice is when you’re washing the dishes notice the water, the temperature, your feet on the floor, the smell of the soap. If you don’t do dishes you can apply – noticing with what you’re doing. How it feels, smells, sounds, your feet on the ground. When we are in conversation with someone, mindfulness looks like really listening, training yourself to not think about what you will say next, how you will relate. But rather really listening, feel what they are saying, take it in, ask them more questions. Notice how you feel in the conversation.
The days can feel longer because you are now living it, being present fully not just your body being physically there. Not just going about your check list, going through the motions. But, really being in it. Even the most mundane, boring, dreadful, annoying thing can still bring joy. Stress levels lower drastically because one reason you’re not complaining about it, just noticing and being present, this noticing and being present avoids the rush, the hurry within your body that affects your nervous system, putting it in fight or flight.
Try it! One day, one practice at a time and the change within your life and within yourself will unfold.
Until next time, keep smiling.
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